It comes down to this.
You’ve got the power in your hands.
All it’s going to take is just a little control and a lot of nerve.
And then it’s yours.
All yours.
I’m talking, of course, about Groupon.
I still remember first hearing about it from my friends in
college. Whenever we would get together
they would talk about some great new restaurant they just discovered or some
festival that they got access to for dirt-cheap.
“Yeah, I found a Groupon for it,” they would say
triumphantly.
“Group? On?” I asked quizzically. I would then be treated to a good
fifteen-minute spiel about the ingenuity and priceless virtue of this amazing
new service.
I was skeptical. I
assumed that the “deals” they were getting were rare and most
likely only came up if you paid into some yearly fee. And anyway, it seemed like something too hip
and trendy for me- until I came across a deal that shattered my
expectations and blew all my fears away.
It was for a complete dinner for two, including appetizers, desserts
and whole bottle of wine at a fancy Italian restaurant for an extremely
reasonable price. It was a deal too good to ignore. I signed up and bought my very first
Groupon. I wasn’t with Joe at the time
so I treated my girl Ashley to a girl’s night out.
We felt like celebrities supping on exotic dishes in an elegant
restaurant, surrounding by well-dressed grown-ups. It was then, as I sat back
sipping my delicious wine after swallowing the last of my decadent dessert, that
I began to think…there’s really something to this Groupon-ing.
From there I became a Groupon-ing fiend. Festivals, hair salons, clothes, jewelry,
hotels, etc., all became mine for the taking!
Unfortunately, I learned quickly that not all Groupons are
created equally. Some were real slam
dunks, while others missed the net entirely (if you’ll pardon the basketball
metaphor).
In honor of March Madness, here is my rundown of Groupon Slam Dunks and Air Balls.
SLAM DUNK:
Portalli’s- $75 for a
Four-Course Italian Dinner and Bottle of Wine for Two
The Groupon that started it all for me. I had never felt classier, even as I ordered
the safest thing on the menu and got tipsy and loud in a dimly lit
restaurant. You could easily tell us
Grouponers from the regulars- we were the ones nervously laughing and tipping
generously.
AIR BALL:
The ClayGround Studio and Gallery- Two Wheel-Throwing Lessons or
Hand-Building Classes
This had all the promise of being a great experience. Wheel-throwing and clay-building was always
something I was interested in and eager to try again after taking an introductory class in
college. But as I sat there, alone, trying to carefully mold something that resembled a clay bowl, I learned that sometimes it’s best to share these experiences with
a buddy. Trying to do a whole mock-“Ghost”
remake is a lot funnier when you don’t have kids or sorority sisters next to
your clay wheel.
AIR BALL:
Glamour Shots Boudoir Photo Shoot- Boudoir Photo Session with
Makeup, Hairstyling, and 3 Wardrobe Change, and a Framed 2-Image Portrait
This should’ve come with the warning “Do not attempt while
operating under a crappy self-image.
Make-up artist will completely ignore blending the make-up down your
neck, and therefore highlighting the huge blemish that your photographer will
happily accentuate.” Thank God for black
and white photography.
SLAM DUNK:
Cobella Salon- Shampoo, Cut, Style, and Choice of Partial Highlights or
Single-Process Color
This was the first time I ever got my hair professionally
colored. I had never felt so
pampered. I actually met with a stylist
who helped me settle on a color and once it was all finished, she even took a
picture of my freshly reddened hair to post on the salon’s Facebook page! I don’t know if it ever made it up there, but
I certainly left feeling like a glamour girl, and for a fraction of the cost.
AIR BALL:
Okabashi Sandals- $30 Groupon for 100% Recycled
Sandals.
I don’t know what the previous items were recycled
into these sandals, but I’m guessing PowerWheel tires and broken patio
furniture. These things felt so
awkwardly clunky and whenever it rained I nearly fell on my ass because the
material became super slick and filthy.
I think the best thing I ever did for the environment was to toss these
in the back of my closet, never to be seen by the world again. Noble but ugly.
SLAM DUNK:
Artista- Four 90-minute BYOB oil-painting
classes.
The best one of all.
It was fun to try painting again, and even better to do it while sipping
on a glass of wine. And it was a pretty
decent deal for four classes. But that’s
not why it was the best. It was the best
because it lead to the surprise of my life; a proposal. I’ll have tragic or humorous memories
attached to all my Groupon experiences, but I don’t think I’ll have another one
that will truly change my life like this one did.
So, as our 2nd wedding anniversary approaches,
I think I’ll end on this Groupon, the slam dunk that has taken us happily into
overtime.
(<3 Happy Anniversary to my best team mate, coach, and love
of my life, Joe <3)
