A Nightmare on Willow Avenue

Well, here you are October, my love/hate month.  Love, because I once again have the valid excuse to throw caution, calories and cash to the wind and buy bags of candy (to give to the little children, of course), as well as see the latest in slutty, trendy and politically incorrect costumes that people come up with.

Hate, because I HATE being scared.  I don't go out of my way to see scary movies, I will happily be the bag-holder instead of riding the Throat-Cutter roller coaster, and I usually fold up into a fetal position at those man-made haunted houses.  

I hate those kind of terror-inducing activities, however I am oddly fascinated with real-life horror.  I will watch documentaries about serial killers and actually love hearing people's true life scary experiences.  Maybe it's because it feeds into my love of stories in general, so while I'd cry at the parking lot "Haunted House" with its' plastic chainsaw-wielding out-of-work actor, I'd pour you another glass of wine to hear the details of how your bed was shaken while you were sleeping.

So, in honor of my dysfunctional relationship with this month, I'll be spending the next few weeks relaying my own Halloween-y stories.

Some might be freaky.  Some might be pathetic.  But they're all Wittie :)

Let's start with something that I've wanted to write about for months but I was waiting for this month to begin- nightmares.  I know we've all gotten them so there's nothing really special about that.  What IS weird is how frequently I've been having them and how intense they have been.  Since I moved down here to Florida, I can't help but notice that my nightmare-to-dream-to-nothing sleep ratio has gone from a pretty normal 1-2-4 to about a 4-1-2 (and no, this is not based on any kind of actual math or science-y research.  Just my own equation to explain what I'm talking about).  And in all of them I was so disturbed I woke myself up at least gasping and whimpering, and at worst screaming and thrashing.  Maybe it would be best for me to tell you what a few of these nightmares were about and you can tell me if I'm normal...or if I need a prescription for a padded room and chic straight-jacket.

1.)  The Spider.
I remember dreaming that there was a huge spider on the ceiling.  It crawled right above me and when it began to descend, I actually flung myself away and yelled out "Holy Hell!"  Joe, still half asleep, tried to grab me and said, "It's ok, it's ok!"  I muttered something about the spider and pointed to the ceiling.  "Honey, it's just the fire sprinkler," he said soothingly.  "I see it...the spider..I see it..," I said for a few more minutes as I stared manically at the spiky fixture.

2.)  The Half-Man.
There was this legless old man floating on the ceiling above me.  He was smiling but it terrified me.  Suddenly, he drifted down and was just about on top of me when I screamed and kicked out of the way, once again, terrifying Joe.

3.)  The Son of Sam: The Animated Series.
I was watching what looked like a dark cartoon version of the story about the "Son of Sam" killer, David Berkowitz.  He was staring out at me from this shabby apartment building.  Just staring and grinning this dark horrible grin.  Then he cut a word into his arm backwards but when I saw it, it read "Cecelia".  Somehow I knew that was the name of his next victim.  I then laid there, feeling myself stuck in conscious limbo, screaming behind my still lips and trying to wake myself up.  I tried to move my arms but they felt as thick and heavy as lead, and I tried to will my eyes open.  Finally, what I thought were screams were sad sighs issuing from my throat, until finally, once again, Joe woke me up.

4.)  The Nightmare that Wasn't.
Joe struggles enough just trying to get a good night sleep without the threat of being startled awake by my thrashing and shrieks; now the poor guy can't even get up to pee without my freaking him out. I must've been in the middle of some kind of dream when Joe stood up from the bed and walked around to my side to go to the bathroom.  It was at that moment that my eyes fluttered open to see a large black mass standing near me.  I screamed (are you seeing the pattern?) and hurled myself away while he jumped back a bit and then, once again, reassured me that everything was ok.

5.)  The Wolf and the Soup.
I mentioned this one on Facebook already, but it was so odd, it bears mentioning again.  I was in a suburban neighborhood, one that felt familiar except this time it was Fall.  The trees were mostly bare or else the leaves that clung on were brown and withered.  The houses were different too- broken windows and collapsing walls.  I walked into a cul-de-sac and was glancing around at the forest beyond the houses, sipping a bowl of soup, when a grey wolf with blue eyes appeared behind a shed. It scared me, but I remember thinking I wasn't supposed to be scared.  Still, I began to run, feeling it begin to chase me.  I put the soup down hoping to distract it, when it was suddenly upon me.  I woke up then, sweating with fear but bewildered by the vivid images and crisp details.

I don't know what my subconscious is trying to tell me- why do I almost always have animals or insects in my nightmares?  Why are things on the ceiling always falling down on me?  It's fascinating what the mind conjures up and I do love to read about dream interpretations, even if sometimes they mean nothing.  Still, I find myself now fearing sleep, which sets up anxiety right before I end up falling asleep, which is probably why the nightmares keep happening!  Vicious cycle.  (Meanwhile, I think Joe is ready to invest in some Nyquil and restraints for me).

But, all I can do is hope for one good dream to wake up from and then maybe that will break the spell.  So on that hopeful note, I bid you...good night.

*And if you have any really odd or scary dreams in the past that you can't shake, tell me about 'em!  Always room for more in my nut house :)