Surprises and Surmises

I can’t even accept flowers without making an ass of myself.

It was a pretty happy day at work.  I had stayed up the night before carefully baking and decorating my gender-reveal cupcakes to bring with me.  The next morning, I stood back and watched with delight as each coworker took a cupcake, peeled back the wrapper, and took a bite.

“I see blue!” one of them exclaimed.  When I confirmed it, I was overwhelmed with hugs and congratulations.  I was also relieved; I was so anxious about pulling off the little surprise, I double (and even triple) - layered the frosting on top to hide any trace of blue cake from peeking through, extending the mystery as long as possible.

After the initial reveal, I had fun watching my friends from other departments make their way to the cupcakes and discover my surprise.  Pretty soon, the secret had been fully revealed and my time in the spotlight had ended. 

Or so I thought…

Later in the day, when I was trying to refocus my attention back to work, one of my supervisors approached me.

“Hey, Security needs to see you,” he said.

“Oh?” I said, suddenly feeling my chest tighten. 

“Yeah, they said you maybe lost something…?” he replied coyly before walking away.

I got up and began nervously walking down the hall to the Security department.  What could I have forgotten?  What did I do now?  All the worries began toppling on top of each other, racing to claim residency in my mind.  When I finally got close, a voice inside hollered.

“Christine?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, ignoring the fact that I was being referred to by the wrong name. 

“Just go on through to the warehouse,” he said.

With that, the doors opened and when I stepped inside, I saw a man standing nearby holding a beautiful bouquet of blue and yellow flowers.  Two brightly colored “It’s A Boy!” balloons were attached as well.  It was so splendid I was completely caught off guard and didn’t know what to say as the deliveryman tried to explain how to take care of them.

“You just wanna put fresh water in them,” he said simply.

“Water…in..them?” I parroted back, the words not sinking in.

“Yeah.  You’ll just want to put water in them,” he said again.

“Water in them.  Right, yes.  Thank you so much!”  I stammered, thanking him as if the bouquet was from him personally.  As I began to walk back to my desk, I didn’t even think to see whom they were from.  All I could see was the name and address of the company I work for, so in my deluded and shocked state, I assumed they were a gift from the company.  Anyone I passed in the hallway that saw the big display and knew me immediately asked who they were from.

“They’re from the company!  So, I guess, from you!  I mean, sort of!…” I said deliriously, leaving the onlooker bewildered.

When I got back to my room, once again I caught the attention of my coworkers. 

“Aw you got flowers?!  Who are they from?” they asked.

“They’re from the company….I think.  So thank you all!” I said.  I deposited the flowers on my desk and walked back to the other department I was working in, not noticing the still silence that swept over the room.  I didn’t know what to think, probably because I wasn’t thinking at all, and just went back to my desk in the other room.

In a few minutes, my desk-mate’s phone rang.

“Oh, yeah, she’s here.  Ha ha, ok, I’ll let her know,” she said, and then she turned to me.  “I think you need to go back and read the card that’s with the flowers,” she giggled as she hung up the phone.

The realization of my faux pas began to settle inside me.  Of course, the card!  I thought.  Why didn’t I think to actually READ the card and find out whom they were from instead of going around thanking people who possibly didn’t have anything to do with it?

I walked embarrassingly back into the other room.  I tried to make light of the situation by cracking a few jokes, but I still felt like an idiot.  When I opened the card, I was even more surprised.  It wasn’t from the company at all; it was from my generous and thoughtful former coworker and her husband.  I was so touched, and again, didn’t know what to say.  Everyone was looking towards me, waiting for me to announce whom they were really from.

“Oh, they’re from Becky and Shock!” I declared and then added, “not…not from everyone.  But still so sweet!  And I mean, she USED to work here, so, you know, kind of…”  I let the inane and meandering thought peter out as I gathered up the last of my dignity.  I walked back to my other desk, passing the same people whom I had thanked when I thought the flowers were from everyone, and corrected myself.

“They’re from Becky.  Remember Becky?  Yeah, they were from her and her husband,”  I said, ashamed I had made a big deal out of thinking they were from my company when I should have given credit to the proper person by reading the damn card in the first place!

Everyone joked, saying it was just my “pregnancy brain” acting up.

Sure, let’s go with that.  But what’s my excuse for the past 30 years? I thought.

*Have you ever had a gift-giving or gift-getting faux pas?  Let’s share in the pain!