Well, the family has arrived- my parents and my brother have officially moved down here to sunny Florida, transplanted from the Jersey Shore.
And as is the case with some transplant surgeries, I think Lakewood Ranch is having a hard time accepting the foreign bodies. In fact, if the past few weeks are any indication, I fear the town may be trying to reject them.
To say we have been having a weird strain of "bad luck" since my parents got here, is an understatement. I have gone from wide-eyed amazement, to slack-jawed disbelief, to maniacal hysteria, and then finally, to quiet acceptance.
But we are a strong persistent lot, my family is, so it will only be a matter of time before things settle down. More so, they have moved into a home of their own, so it seems that the spell has been broken. And before you know it, we will all be coming together for the holidays, toasting the move and celebrating many more Thanksgivings and Christmases under palm trees as one big happy family.
With that warm holiday spirit in mind, I realized the best way to describe the madness that has been happening to us (and our home) would be by borrowing from that Christmas classic, The Twelve Days of Christmas*.
Enjoy.
*For the sake of sanity and space (both yours and mine) I have amended the song to just the final countdown. I also took some liberties with meter and rhythm for comedy's sake. You're welcome.
The Twelve Days of Chaos
On the twelfth day of chaos,
my family brought to me...
12. Lightning strikes the house
11. Clippers down the drain
10. Cable box breaks down
9. Wifi out 5 days
8. Flooding on the floor
7. Mold spores in the air vents
6. Shower handlebar falls off
5. Myyy car breaks doooown
4. Smashed vodka bottle
3. Broken wine glass
2. AC goes out
1. And a Mysterious Gas Leak!
Merry Early Christmas, Everyone!
Leave your own odd family experiences in the comments. And thanks to you guys that left something last time. Always love hearing other people's stories :)
Medical emergencies only ever appear in my life when my family arrives.
ReplyDeleteMy brother visits: He steps on a sea urchin and his wife breaks out in a terrible allergic reaction to our Floridian mosquitoes, and an infected abscess in the lower gums.
My sister visits: Somehow poison ivy gets wrapped around my legs and she spends the first few weeks of her holiday with her host hobbling around on swollen, weeping, open-wounded legs.