Eye, the Beholder

My eyesight is officially getting worse. 

I used to be able to get by without my glasses on all the time, but those days are long over.  I can tell because even with my glasses, I find myself scrunching my nose and blinking several times to refocus my eyes.  And it really became apparent the other night when I went to go pick up a pizza and nearly drove into a small ditch because I couldn’t see the entrance to the plaza (I don’t think Joe saw it either, but that was probably because he was busy covering his eyes from fright).

So, I suppose I should bite the bullet and get new stronger glasses for everyday use, but I still refuse to wear them when I’m out jogging.  I like the feeling of giving my eyes a break, plus I hate to feel my glasses slide down the bridge of my nose from sweat.

However, the price I pay is that I often startle myself by mistaking completely benign objects for outlandish, ridiculous, and even extinct creatures.  I know logically that the things I’m seeing aren’t what they appear to be, but I still wind up jumping and staggering back.

At least I’m giving my neighbors a chuckle early in the morning.

Here are just a few of the things I thought I saw and what they actually were:

1.)  Snake --> Twig

- Not too far out there, but I should wonder why a snake would contort itself to such a degree and then just lay there.  Oh, and be growing leaves…you never know. 

2.)  Dinosaur --> A Goal Post

- “Once, the great dinosaurs Ronaldo-saur or Pelé-siosaur roamed the swamps of Florida. Or just in a neighbor’s backyard next to a swing-set.”

3.)  Human --> A Mailbox

-  Hmmm, I think to myself, that short person isn’t really moving.  They’re just standing there.  Very intently.  Next to their lawn. 

4.)  Bear --> A Trash Bag

-  Ever since I was told that bears live in Florida I have been beyond terrified of coming face to face with one.  Of course, recently seeing the movie, “The Revenant” doesn’t help much, either.

What about you, my fellow feeble-eyed friends?  Did your eyesight ever get the better of you?