My Name is ChocolateFace

You know, some people pride themselves on making a good first impression.  Or a good second impression.  Me?  I seem to just make “an impression”, and usually not the best kind.

Take this past weekend at a Halloween party I attended. 

We were asked to wear a costume and bring along a little something to pass.  The food option was a no-stresser, as I planned to make these crock-pot meatballs that have been a hit in the past.  As for a costume, well, being almost 8 months pregnant, anything super hot and sexy was pretty much out.  And time and money being tight, I wouldn’t have a chance to put together some cute and clever maternity costume.  Lo and behold, I still had this pumpkin T-shirt I wore for my baby shower a few weeks ago.  By pairing that with some black leggings, I could just barely get away with it being a “costume”.

On the day of the party, I arrived at the same time as my friend (and fellow preggo) Rachel.  As she emerged from her car, I was amazed.  She had transformed herself and her adorable baby bump into a gumball machine, complete with red felt hat and 25 cent tag-choker.  She looked awesome.  I looked down at my cheap orange T-shirt and suddenly felt like a lazy fraud.  Oh well, I thought, nothing I can do about it now.

We walked in together and were greeted by our friend, Marianna’s, mother.  She guided us inside and we began saying our hellos to Marianna’s various family and friends.  As we made our way to the tables with the food, I suddenly had a small panic attack.  What if the ceramic container with the meatballs was too hot? I thought.  What if it scalds the table?  My mind raced in terror as I hesitated putting the bowl down, my hand grasping the container in a frozen state.  Finally, not wanting to appear like a total weirdo, I decided to just put it down, damning the consequences.

Next, it was onto mingling.  Our other friend, Alejandra, and her husband were there as well and soon all of us were chatting happily with Marianna’s other friends.  We found topic after topic to discuss, from air travel to movies to fashion.  We never fell on an uncomfortable silence or awkwardness, and we all began to loosen up and just enjoy ourselves, even me.  I am so used to needing a beer or glass of wine to make myself more at ease in social situations like these.  But tonight, thanks to the good company I was in, I felt jovial, clever and attentive.  I was actually feeling pretty good about myself.

I decided to reward myself with a sweet treat from the food table.  I immediately spotted these popcorn and M&M balls, drizzled in chocolate syrup.  Yumm, I thought as I reached for one.  I took a bite, and realized that the chocolate might be getting all over my face.  I grabbed a napkin and began furiously wiping my face down before anyone noticed the sloppy pregnant girl with a face full of chocolate.

I walked back over to the area where my friends, both old and new, were all still congregated when the doorbell rang.  In walked a few more of Marianna’s friends.  They came over and introduced themselves to those of us whom they didn’t know.  Since I was standing right there, and feeling quite confident, I stuck my hand out to shake their hands, introducing myself as well.  They offered a kind smile and I, in turn, offered a wide one back.   They eventually moved on towards the food area, and I suddenly realized an instant urge to use the restroom. 

I slipped away from the crowd and found the bathroom.  Good for you, I said to myself.  A few hours into a party and you’ve yet to make an ass of yourself.  Yep, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself alright.

As soon as I walked into the bathroom, I saw it.  Somehow, despite wiping my face, I had somehow missed a wide smear of chocolate running down my cheek.  I’m sure in normal circumstances it wouldn’t have appeared so big to me.  But as my mind quickly realized that I had just been grinning like an absent-minded idiot to perfect strangers with a big chocolate stripe on my face, my confidence level crashed to my feet.  I wiped the damn spot off my face and when I was finished, I walked back out. 

Ah well, you can’t win ‘em all, champ, I thought to myself as I rejoined the group.  Luckily, I was able to find my groove again and I nearly completely forgot about my chocolate-face. 

Well, nearly.

As I said, some people make great first impressions, and others need another chance.  Or sometimes you just have to go with your gut, whether it’s telling you to relax and enjoy or eat that popcorn/M&M ball.  You might end up with egg, or in my case chocolate, on your face.  But at least you can have a good time in the end.